Zivaco News
Some time ago I had to observe a phenomenon that made me very sad. In the school where I worked as a replacement teacher, there was a much-undisciplined child. During recess, the little one, about ten years old, was beating other boys, teasing and constantly attracting attention. During class hours, he didn’t stay still and there was no way to make him work.
When I asked one of my classmates what was happening to the child, she replied: “It is that the mother treats him as a fool, he always tells her that he is a ‘good for nothing’. Not receiving affection at home makes him a very insecure boy who expresses his anger and helplessness by hitting others. ”
When I heard his words, my heart was knotted and I thought: “How can there be parents who treat their children like this!I considered that might be the mother of child had not been treated well in their childhood or she had not learned how to treat children’s properly.
I was very sorry for her. The saddest thing was to think of that child growing up in love, with insecurities, with the belief that it was useless. Perhaps we have never reached that extreme by luck, but, conveniently, we review the negative behaviors, feelings, emotions or beliefs that we drag from our childhood. The more analytical we are, the more we can understand our fears and difficulties.
What attitudes to develop so that our children grow up happy and how to build self-confidence? Let me make a few suggestions for raising children with self-confidence:
- Value Your Point of View
When we were little, we were always told: “silence, that adults speak”. While children have to learn to respect, it is also very important that they should be given the space to express themselves freely. That will give them a lot of security.
- Don’t Ridicule Them
While they are small and lack much of learning, we must respect their emotions, desires and this the best way to increase self-confidence. For example, I know the case of a teenage girl who went to tell her parents that she was in love. They replied laughing mockingly and saying: what do you know about love?
- Provide tools to express themselves freely
Art is the most effective way for children (and well thought out, for every human being, of course) to express themselves and raise self-confidence. Through music, dance, or drawing, children can see their finished creation, value their effort, express emotions and this is not only very healthy but will help them develop high self-confidence, seeing that they have met your goals.
- Don’t Compare Them
If you have several children, do not make the mistake of comparing by telling them, for example: “Ali is more brilliant than Alex …” This can create great complexes and rivalries, especially if there is little age difference between them.
- Do not typecast them
When we affirm: Juancito is terrible, he is capricious, he is naughty, etc. We are strengthening certain personality traits that will later develop. This happens because the child ends up believing it is one way and fulfills that role.
- Correct them with Love and teach them to Learn from their Mistakes
Help your children see every difficulty of life with confidence as an opportunity to learn, to overcome and improve as a person. Encourage them for mistakes, giving them the confidence that they will be able to overcome all obstacles.
- Value your Efforts
Accompanying them in each of the stages of their learning is essential. Show your joy before your triumphs. It is important to verbalize that joy by congratulating them and giving them a big hug.
- Show them your Love
Many times parents love our children but we don’t show it because maybe we think, erroneously that they know it. But it is very important to express love in all our human relationships. We can show it with a word, a smile, listening carefully to your needs, your fears, your desires, with a hug, and saying “I love you”.
- Never show them the other’s people expressions
Surely everyone, when we were children, they have told us these words. Or if not, also: “they are looking at you, behave” This creates insecurity. As adults, we must teach them to behave well because it is the right thing and explain why. That way the little ones will act correctly but not for fear of “what they will say”.
- Prepare them for Success
The challenges are good for children, but they must also have opportunities where they can be sure of finding success. Help your child get involved in activities that make him feel comfortable and confident enough to address a greater challenge.
- Show your Love
Let your child know that you love him a lot. Win or lose the big game, have good or bad grades. Making sure your child knows that you think he is great — and not only when he does great things — will help you see how much he is worth even when he doesn’t feel good about himself.
It is essential that, in addition to the points mentioned above, we strive to be confident in our decisions as parents and to be firm in our decisions regarding their education. They see us calm when facing the problems; happy when we lie down and when we get up. That way we will be the example for our children to grow with self-confidence, security, and self-esteem, becoming happy people, who know their virtues and defects and who can overcome all the stones they find in their path.
Share these points if they have been useful and, if you want, you can tell us what things you and your family do to convey safety and confidence to your children.
